Golly, I feel like the scum of the earth!
I mean, uh, Happy Valentine’s.
Well, I got y’all a lovely special! I hope you’ll all like it and hope you’ll want to send Qs afterwards! Hope you enjoy!
Dimension ???, 1307 hours, 14 February 2019, AAaF headquarters
Fizzson: *Working on something from the computer console*
*Black Widow comes out from a nearby hallway, dusting off her hands*
Black Widow: ‘Sup.
Fizzson: Oh, hey Wid. Wasn’t expecting visitors today… Entering some way besides the portal machine, no less….
Black Widow: Eh, your security is kinda flimsy. Kinda cool, but still passable.
Fizzson: Guess I’ll have to work on that, then… Anyways, what’s up?
Black Widow: I’d highly recommend it. Anyways, I heard you had a “love potion?”
Fizzson: Uhh… Sorta. Why do you ask?
Black Widow: No reason whatsoever.
Fizzson: Come on. You wouldn’t drop by here unannounced to ask that specific question for no reason.
Black Widow: *shrugs* I ask strange questions. Can you get me one or no? Then we can talk why.
Fizzson: Probably. I’d have to ask a friend, though.
Black Widow: Alright. Which friend?
Black Widow: Alright. How long will that take?
Fizzson: ‘Bout a minute. What’cha need it for?
Black Widow: Well… Nothing special… Just… Trying to get something done.
Fizzson: Okay… *Creates a sort of intercom earbud, and uses it to call Seth* Ey, Seth. Am I interrupting anything? …Huh. Well, a… Friend is asking for a Lovers’ Kiss. Think you could send one over? *Pauses* Alright. I’ll ask real quick. *Deafens the intercom for a sec* Says he needs a reason.
Black Widow: Helping to show a certain bunny how a certain pixie feels about him.
Fizzson: Oooohhh, got’cha. *Undeafens the intercom* you know E right? Blonde haired girl? Flat out refuses to confess her love to her crush despite nearly everyone saying he likes her too? *Pauses* Well, one of her friends figures she might need a bit of a… Push.
*A rift opens next to Fizz, and a bottle of pink liquid gets tossed out. Fizz catches it, then tosses some money into the rift before it closes* Thanks Seth. Much appreciated.
*A small watch also comes out of the rift, it closing after*
Fizzson: …Oh cool. Thanks. *Pauses* Yup. That’s about it. Cya. *Hangs up, the intercom disappearing after*
Black Widow: This won’t have any severe side effects, right?
Fizzson: No lasting ones. Though… Hang on. *Swipes his hand to make his keyboard, typing something on it quickly* That should fix the one major problem of it.
Black Widow: Which was…?
Fizzson: Uhh… Let’s just say it might’ve caused a bit… More then love in its usual state.
Black Widow: *raises an eyebrow* Oh really now?
Fizzson: Yeah… E’ll probably have a grudge against us for this as is, but she’d straight up wanna kill us both if I left that in.
Black Widow: Ah. That sounds… Interesting.
Fizzson: Definitely. *Pauses* Oh, wait. *Types something else in the keyboard. The color of the bottled liquid changing from pink to clear* We had one of these in AAaF recently. The different color should make it a bit easier to trick her into drinking.
Black Widow: Alright, makes sense. She’s been really paranoid recently.
Fizzson: For good reason, given what’s been going on lately.
Black Widow: Fair enough.
Fizzson: Anyways, is that everything you came for?
Black Widow: Yup. Do I need to pay you any?
Fizzson: Nah. This is for a good cause, so don’t worry about paying me back.
Black Widow: *shrugs* Alright. *smirks* I guess you’re going to want to know what happened afterwards though.
Fizzson: Oh, absolutely.
Black Widow: I figured as much. I’ll see how much I can get on video.
Fizzson: Alrighty. Hopefully, this all works out.
Black Widow: Hopefully.I’m not terribly concerned, E just needs a little nudge.
Fizzson: Sounds about right. *Pauses* Anyways, you should probably get going.
Black Widow: Probably. *holds out her hand*
Fizzson: *Hands her the bottle* See you around, Wid.
Black Widow: Alright. *starts off down the hallway*
Fizzson: *Waves goodbye, then goes back to working on the computer console*
Earth 442, 1321 hours, 11 November 2018, "The Villains' Apartment", Apartment 606
Black Widow: I got something.
Binary Bard: What?
Black Widow: A love potion. It’s for E.
Binary Bard: What?! Why do you need it?
Black Widow: Why not? They aren’t really going anywhere right now. If it’s temporary, then it’ll be fine.
Binary Bard: I am incredibly uncomfortable with this.
Black Widow: Alright, alright fine. But I already got it, so what do we do with it?
Binary Bard: Burn it.
Black Widow: That’s not how it works.
Binary Bard: I don’t know, I wasn’t the one who got an emotion manipulating potion and put it in a Sprite can!
Black Widow: Fair enough. I’ll just throw it in the fridge then.
Binary Bard: You should probably put a note that says “DO NOT DRINK” on it so we don’t have an accident or something.
Black Widow: Chill out, what’s the worst that could happen?
Pop: Momma, I got this for you!
E: What is it?
Pop: It’s a soda, Binary said you liked Sprite!
E: I imagine he was making a pun, but yes, yes I do. Thanks buddy! *takes the can*
Pop: You’re welcome!
E: Is this for Valentine’s? Where did you get this?
Pop: I got it from the fridge, but it was Heather’s, so I’ll pay her back.
E: … Ok. *pops open the can* Thank you Poppie!
Pop: You’re welcome! *runs off*
E: *sips it then pauses, wrinkling her nose* Oof. This does not taste normal. *pauses again, then sips* Nope, this tastes totally off.
Dr Hare: *walks in* What does?
E: The soda Pop gave me a couple minutes ago.
Dr Hare: Weird… Do you know why?
E: Nah, no clue. *sips it again*
Dr Hare: You should probably stop drinking it then.
E: Probably. *sets it on the counter* Well, that was weird.
Dr Hare: Yeah… are you feeling Ok? Was it like poison or something?
E: I don’t think so. It tasted kind of… pink.
Dr Hare: Pink?
E: Yeah… Geez, that’s weird….
Dr Hare: I’m a little worried about this now.
E: Eh… It’s fine, Pop wouldn’t poison me. I’ve just got to- Ow! *she puts her hand over her eye, wincing and wobbling on the spot.*
Dr Hare: E! *catches her as she collapses* E, are you OK?!
E: I… I’m not sure… Ow! *she covers her eyes in pain* I’m OK! I’m Ok!
Dr Hare: What happened?!
E: I… I don’t know…
She opened her eyes, but instead of blue, they were glowing pink hearts.
E: I… I guess maybe I fell for you.
Dr Hare: … What?!
E: Here, help me up, please.
Dr Hare: Um…. Ok?
I helped her to her feet and she steadied herself against the nearby desk. She looked up at me and smiled, almost… Flirtatious.
Dr Hare: Are you alright?
E: Great, now that you’re here. *winks*
Dr Hare: What?
E: I’m just wondering… Are you a thief?
Dr Hare: Uh… no.
E: Well, you stole my heart!
Dr Hare: You are definitely not alright.
E: I’m alright… but you’re looking fine.
Dr Hare: Um… Why are you all flirty all of a sudden? Why all the pickup lines?
E: *shrugs* Probably because… I’ve never flirted in my life. I’m not very good at this.
Dr Hare: But why are you flirting?
E: Because I think you’re cute.
Dr Hare: *turns red* What… Ok, what happened?! Are you an alternate E or was that stuff laced with drugs?!
E: Nope, it’s just me, E to the Wing. I have no idea for that last part tho. All I had was the Sprite-
Dr Hare: The Sprite! Where is it?
E: On the desk. You can have some if you want. Or you could have my heart. But you already have that…
Dr Hare: I am so worried for you right now.
E: I don’t know why sweetheart… *winks*
Dr Hare: I… alright then.
I took the soda can and poured a little into a clear cup. The drink was white with strange bubbles, which isn’t usually what soda looked like. Then again, all of this was anything but normal, especially E’s behavior… I turned to see her right next to me, leaning over my shoulder.
E: Hey. Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only… 10-I-see!
Dr Hare: Why?
E: I… Yeah, I can’t stop.
Dr Hare: Do you mean you can’t stop because you want to keep flirting, or is it because you physically can’t.
E: Honestly, probably the second one. Plus you’re like an magnet, very attractive.
Dr Hare: Um… who gave you the soda?
E: Pop did.
Dr Hare: Really?
E: Duh, how could I lie to you, you… um… I’m out of pickup lines.
Dr Hare: I’m very concerned. Come on… *waves for her to follow him and starts towards the door*
E: Coming! Oh, your hand looks heavy, may I hold it for you?
Dr Hare: I… fine?
E: Yay! *she grabs his hand and kisses him on the cheek*
Dr Hare: *turns red* Um… Thank you? That’s nice of you…
E: Aw, thanks! It wasn’t as nice as you are tho…
Binary Bard: *opens the door* Hey, um, guys? There’s a Sprite can in the fridge, don’t drink it, it’s not-
He stopped dead. It definitely looked weird. E was cuddling up to me, I probably looked incredibly nervous(wonder why) and the very can he was talking about sat on a nearby desk.
Binary Bard: … Oh my Arthrus. Who drank it?
Dr Hare: Who do you think?!
E: Oh, that was me, sorry! Hello, by the way.
Dr Hare: Oh, so you’ll flirt with me, but not with him?
E: You’re cuter than he is.
Binary Bard: Hey, he- *sighs* Ok, how much?
Dr Hare: No idea…
E: Just a quarter of it, don’t worry! What was it?
Binary Bard: Um… *looks incredibly uncomfortable* It… It was kind of a love potion.
Dr Hare: Where did you get a love potion?!
E: And why’d you give it to Pop?
Binary Bard: I didn’t! *sighs and facepalms* Wid got it, I don’t know who from or even why. You’d have to talk to her. Has anything… bad happened?
E: I don’t work that way, B.
Dr Hare: No, just a lot of pick-up lines.
E: I’m decent at those! Ish. Not really.
Binary Bard: … Ok then. I’ll just… run.
Dr Hare: No, wait! *releases himself from E, hurries over to him and whispers horsely*
What do I do here?
Binary Bard: How should I know, this hasn’t happened to me before! The potion wears off in half an hour, I think.
Dr Hare: Ok, fine, but… what do I do about her… *waves at E’s general direction*
E: *waves back, even if she doesn’t know what’s going on*
Binary Bard: Um… you know she likes you, right?
Dr Hare: She’s under the effect of a love potion right now, I’m not sure this counts!
Binary Bard: No, I mean… *sighs and rolls his eyes* Never mind. Listen, just… Be careful, alright? If you don’t want anything to happen, you’re going to need your guard up.
Dr Hare: What? Why?
Binary Bard: Because, well… if she’s more flirty… she might want to kiss you…
Dr Hare: *turns red* Wait, really?! Is that likely to happen?!
Binary Bard: Honestly? I have no idea! It’s modified Lover’s Kiss, I have no idea what could happen!
Dr Hare: Great… so I’m doomed. Wish me luck, I’ll need it… What do I do for the next 20 minutes?
Binary Bard: I don’t know, profess your feelings.
Dr Hare: That would make it worse!
Binary Bard: Fair enough. Tell her after it wears off.
Dr Hare: No!
Binary Bard: You have to tell her eventually.
Dr Hare: You really aren’t helping!
E: *peeks over Dr Hare’s shoulder* What are we telling me?
Dr Hare: *jumps* Nothing!
Binary Bard: Well, good luck you two! *walks off*
Dr Hare: *glances at her awkwardly* Oh boy…
E: Oh girl, actually. *winks*
We sat on opposite sides of the room. E was watching me, I could tell. Her eyes were still pink hearts, but every time I looked at her, I couldn’t seem to keep eye contact with her for more than a second. I kept working, anxiously.
E: Am I making you nervous?
I looked over at her. She was looking at me, head tilted.
Dr Hare: W-what?
E: Am I making you nervous, Harvey?
Dr Hare: N-no, why?
E: *frowns* Because you’re acting nervous. Harvey, Listen, I… I’m sorry. For making you nervous. But… why exactly is making you nervous?
Dr Hare: Well… You got drugged and you’re acting strange. I’m just… worried.
E: Oh. *looks down, then looks back up at him* Can I make it up to you?
Dr Hare: No, it’s alright, it’s not your fault.
E: But… I feel bad.
Dr Hare: Don’t. It’s alright… I just… *looks back at his work* I don’t know.
E: … *walks over to him and hugs him from behind* I love you.
Dr Hare: *turns bright red* T-thanks.
E: I just… You’re wonderful, you’ve done so much…
Dr Hare: Not really…
E: You do! You’ve saved my life so many times, you’re fun, cute, and you’re smart. You’re so passionate about your work… And…. You seem to genuinely care about me. I… I don’t get that a lot…
Dr Hare: … E…
E: *wipes at her eyes* Sorry, I’m fine… I didn’t mean to get emotional, sorry.
Dr Hare: It’s… it’s ok E… I understand…
E: Thank you… *inhales* I just wanted to say… I love you. A lot. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met. Thank you for that.
She sounded so sincere, I swear my heart was going to stop. I turned to look up at her and she was smiling, a little sadly. Her eyes were still pink, but it almost looked like a sliver of blue was peaking through. She leaned forward and kissed my forehead gently.
E: Even if you don’t feel the same way… That’s OK. I just… I just wanted you to know.
Dr Hare: E… I… I’m not sure what to say…
E: *nods lightly and pulls away* I understand. I’ll be back in a second, alright? *hurries off*
And… She was gone. I wasn’t sure what to do. Then again, I hadn’t known what to do from the get go. Because my life needed more confusion… Especially with E… I stood and went back to the living room, rubbing my head, Charlotte was sitting on the couch, drinking her coffee. She looked up at me and smirked.
Black Widow: So… She actually drank it?
Dr Hare: Yeah, she did! What the heck Wid?!
Black Widow: I didn’t think she would steal a soda that says “Don’t Drink” on it.
Dr Hare: You’re telling me this was an elaborate prank to see if she was stealing your soda?
Black Widow: No, I was going to give it to her myself, but this works… I also thought you two needed a bit of a… Push.
Dr Hare: Are you serious?!
Black Widow: Yup.
Dr Hare: … What the heck?! Why would you drug her like that, she’s acting totally off!
Black Widow: *raises eyebrows* Not really.
Dr Hare: Not really?
Black Widow: She’s acting pretty normal to be honest.
Dr Hare: Have you seen her?
Black Widow: Twice.
E: Hi guys!
Black Widow: Three times.
Dr Hare: E, how are you feeling.
E: I’m fine Honey Bun, don’t worry about me.
Dr Hare: *flushes* E, please don’t
Black Widow: *snickers*
E: Sorry, you’re just too cute… *walks off*
Black Widow: I see no difference.
Dr Hare: *bright red* Har har.
Black Widow: *rolls her eyes* It wears off in 30 minutes, I remember last time. It’s been what, 15 minutes?
Dr Hare: 25…
Black Widow: Don’t have long then. Honestly, if I’d go take advantage of this if I were you.
Dr Hare: No!
Black Widow: Fine, fine. But you know if you kissed her now, she’ll know you like her for real.
Dr Hare: I’m not taking advantage of E.
Black Widow: Can’t argue if you put it like that. One more thing though.
Dr Hare: *sighs* What?
Black Widow: You know that Lover’s Kiss just increases the feelings, right? This all isn’t coming out of nowhere. She really likes you.
Dr Hare: I… Alright, whatever…
Black Widow: I am being serious here.
Dr Hare: I… I guess…
Black Widow: Now, go get your girl.
Dr Hare: She’s not my… ugh, fine…
I went back into the lab, feeling all too confused. I was getting so many mixed messages. I wasn’t sure what was happening any more. I just wanted all this to be over…. I walked over to the potion and shook it tentatively. It bubbled. Probably not good. I heard a loud thud. I turned to see E, wide eyed, right next to me. She’d knocked over a chair.
E: Sorry! I was just trying to come over to talk to you… *picks up the chair and sets it back up* There. Hi.
Dr Hare: Um… Hi. What’s up?
E: *shrugs* The sky.
Dr Hare: Ok… But why did you want to talk to me?
E: Well… I don’t know. I just… I just really wanted to be with you.
She moved a little closer and wrapped her arms around my neck. I blushed, stunned.
Dr Hare: W-what are you…
E: Nothing bad, promise. You know me, I don’t like that. I just… *she pauses* I love you.
Dr Hare: E…
E: *tilts her head* May I kiss you?
Dr Hare: *turns bright red* What?!
E: *flinches* S-sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep… I just… really want to kiss you, for some reason.
Dr Hare: E, it’s because of the potion. It’s Lover’s Kiss, if makes you… extra flirtatious.
E: *frowns* Oh. But… I still like you, even when I’m not under this.
Dr Hare: I know, we are friends.
E: … *kisses him on the nose* More than that Harvey. I think you know… That… Well, right now, my feelings are undoubtedly heightened tenfold, but.. I do love you. I have for a while… I’ve just been scared to tell you. I love you more than life, Harvey.
She leaned forward as if to… To kiss me. I has no idea what to do. Part of me wanted to run screaming. Then E’s eyes widened suddenly. She collapsed and I caught her, barely. I looked up to see Mordred, standing there, holding a dart rifle.
Binary Bard: I am so sorry. I… I panicked.
Dr Hare: Join the club. But… Did you just traq E?
Binary Bard: No! Well, yes, but it had the cure, I got it. I was coming over and… I panicked.
Dr Hare: Yeah… Well, that was good timing… Can you help me get her on the bed?
We pulled down the fold-down bed and set E on it. She looked almost peaceful now, despite everything. I rubbed my forehead. This was all just insane. Someone, not sure who, had given Wid a love potion, which she’d put in the fridge so E could drink, all for a supposed “push in the right direction” that helped nothing. I sat in a chair, hard.
Binary Bard: Are you Ok?
Dr Hare: I don’t know… The girl I like is currently passed out after getting drugged, spent the past half hour flirting with me… Then… She… You saw… I… I’m just confused.
Binary Bard: … *leans back against the counter* Man, if that doesn’t sound like Emilia, I don’t know what does.
Dr Hare: Emilia scares me a little.
Binary Bard: Who doesn’t she? At any rate, yeah, I’m sorry this happened…
Dr Hare: It’s Ok… I just wasn’t expecting it to be so… drastic.
Binary Bard: You know she likes you, right?
Dr Hare: At this point, I’m not sure what anyone thinks…
Binary Bard: Well… You love her.
Dr Hare: *flushes* Yeah…
Binary Bard: Then just worry about that. Concentrate on how you feel, it’ll help.
Dr Hare: I… I’ll try, but-
E: *sits bolt upright* Oh my gosh!
Dr Hare: *falls off his chair*
Binary Bard: And… she’s up.
E: No kidding… Ow.
Dr Hare: *stands up hurriedly* Are you Ok?
E: No, not really? My head is killing me… What happened?
Dr Hare: You don’t remember?
E: Not really… All I’ve got is… Embarrassment, pick-up lines and the color pink?
Binary Bard: As good a description as any…
E: That doesn’t make any sense.
Binary Bard: Tell me about it.
Dr Hare: *sounding a little relieved* It’s a long, long story. Where does your head hurt?
E: Everywhere… Ugh, I’m getting… Flashes of… Did I get slipped a love potion?
Dr Hare: Um… maybe?
Binary Bard: Yes.
E: Oh by the hand of Willy Wonka… Please tell me I didn’t do something embarrassing… Or stupid.
Dr Hare: I… No. You were fine. Just get some rest, alright?
Dr Hare: Please.
E: … Ok… Fine. I trust you.
Binary and I left quietly, leaving E to rest. I was stunned into confused silence. What was happening anymore.
Dr Hare: Did you mix an amnesiac into the dart?
Binary Bard: No… But I think some of the chemicals could have mixed into one… I’m sorry, I didn’t know.
Dr Hare: It’s Ok, maybe it’s best she doesn’t know…
I was going into the living room after checking on Pop when I heard soft crying sounds, coming from the lab, where E was supposed to be sleeping. I slowly pushed the door open. E was sitting up, head in hands. Her phone was face down in front of her, but still on. I walked in, a little cautiously.
Dr Hare: E? What’s wrong?
E: *stops abruptly* N-nothing.
Dr Hare: What… What happened?
E: It’s nothing, OK? I just… Lost control of my emotions.
Dr Hare: … *walks over and sits on to the bed* E… Please, I want to help you.
E: I… I can’t. I can’t Harvey, I just can’t…
She handed me her phone. There was a single message on it. “Hey, it’s Quincy. You’ll probably be sad to hear this, or freak out, whatever, but Vampi and the Six died. Please excuse our loss of Qs, we’ll get some to you soon.” I looked up at E, shocked.
Dr Hare: What?!
E: I… I got the message today a few days ago… But it didn’t come through until today… Dunno why… But… *sniffs* I’ve been checking… They really are… They’re gone. They were murdered… I just… *lets out a sob* I can’t believe this…
Dr Hare: E… I’m so sorry…
E: I’ve known Vampi for years… TAS and Itch… I just… I can’t handle this… What happened?! Who killed my friends?!
Dr Hare: *soothingly* We’ll find out, just… Calm down, please.
E: I can’t! *she wipes her eyes, sadly* I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap…
Dr Hare: It’s alright.
E: I’ve… I’ve lost too many people… I’m so… *takes a deep breath* I… I can’t handle this. I’m… I’m hoping they find out what happened… I want to help… But… I don’t know if I can…
Dr Hare: Listen… We’ll figure this out, alright? I promise.
E: *sniffs* H-how can you promise that?
Dr Hare: Well, I’ve got you, we can figure this out.
E: How could I help? I’m useless.
Dr Hare: You’re anything but useless, E. We’ll figure this out.
E: B-but… *sniffs* Harvey, I… I’m… I can’t lose someone else. This… This hurts too much…
Dr Hare: Oh, E… *hugs her tightly* It’s going fui be Ok… It’ll be Ok…
I’m super depressed! Yay!
Anyways, hope you like that! Please send Qs, I’d love them. I know this kind of had a sad ending, but you can still send Qs asking E about what she did and how Dr Hare feels about this or anything. Anyways, I’m off to do something. Enjoy!
(4030 words. Wow.)